Spiritual abuse can be defined as the maltreatment of church-goers by church leaders. There are many examples of this, especially in more cult-like groups. But could the elements of obvious cases exist within more mainstream churches?
We are going to look at five symptoms that exist in someone that is experiencing spiritual abuse. We will see that a person that experiences these things will often not know that it is occuring but will continue togo about there lives feeling that this is the cross they have to bear.
1. Spiritual guilt - Guilt for not meeting the spiritual standards of the group or church. Many times this can manifest itself in how you feel about a particular task or assignment. Guilt will arise if you feel bad about not wanting to do the task or if you do it, it is not as good as you would like it. You also may be afraid as to how others will look upon you and your progress as a believer. You may be afraid others will think you have a lack of faith for an incomplete or not done task. These standards are set primarily by church leadership or the spiritual atmosphere.
2. Low spiritual confidence - This would be in your ability to understand the bible and/or spiritual things. Many church leaders would place their understanding of the bible/spirituality above yours due to many things. It may include years of experience, education, associations, family ties, friendly ties, dreams, visions, or gifts. There may be subtle references to their superior knowledge or your weak faith and the need to strengthen it. Your environment may not allow contrary comments on presented information.
3. Loss of individuality - Your spiritual activities will be the same as your peers. Often a person experiencing this will be following an accepted path of activity within the church or group. Diverging from this path could mean ostracism or marking. This is also a very subtle symptom. You may be thinking that the activities you are involved in will keep you out of trouble. You may also think that being united in mindset is proof of divine support. Some things that may begin to align with your peers would be the way you dress, your haircut, your cars, your home, your job, or your food. These things are not who you are but what you prefer.
4. Rigid hierarchical alignment - Your spiritual goals are oriented to the groups spiritual structure. For example, if within the structure of the church, there are different positions that are little more prominent than parishoner that have a little responsibility, then that is a goal set out for you. You would never be given the option of personal expression to possibly work outside of the group unless its within the capacity of the church. You also are aware of the order of things and who disciplines those in the church or group. If the decisions for the church do not originate from the top locally, there may be a branch or division that "helps" the group with the more difficult functions. Members will usually become aware of this as needed. The hierarchical arrangement is the spiritual mechanics that is laid out for the members and it usually has God sitting at the top.
5. Loss of Jesus speech - Primarily a Christian thing. Jesus name is rarely used in spiritual discussions. Yes you may hear his name a lot and know he is in the context but he is not brought up in anyway to assist you with any of the above.
Experiencing these things goes unnoticed for many people because they are often told, by church leadership, to be selfless. This would be selfless in a way that is recognized within their particular structure. If listened to, a pathway opens up into your heart with those words and the ability to motivate you by the symptoms begins. Love should motivate a giving heart. The above symptoms sets up obligation as a motivator which in turn builds up an obedient follower and subtley places fleshly things in front of Christ. We will never be able to love God with our whole heart, soul, body, and mind if our mind is telling us we are not good enough.
My suggested solution is a Christian one although spiritual abuse exists in every religion. All of the above can be avoided but not easily. Like any abusive relationship, it is easy to know what to do. Its just the doing that is the difficult part. Your scared for yourself, for your family, for your salvation.
First thing is to pray, pray, and pray some more.
Number five says there is a loss of Jesus speech. Add him back into your speech to help make sure that he is your example and focus. Then look at how to see the other four things differently with Jesus involved.(continued in Part 2)
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